We've had quite an exciting few months and we thank you for your patience as I've been largely absent from the shop. Our biggest news is that our #natalinest is growing! If you've followed our story, you know we lost a babe in January and what we thought were our chances of having more. I almost died as well so we took a step back to grieve, breathe and be thankful for all we have. I plan on talking more about that in a different post.
Shortly after our tragedy we learned we were pregnant again! To say we were shocked would be the understatement of the century. I was convinced I wasn't pregnant, that it was residual hormones, which I was told could happen. I insisted that Justin not to come to the appointment with me, there wasn't much I thought could be done. Maybe a blood test and some questions. Wrong. My Doc (whom I LOVE btw) performed an ultrasound which not only showed a viable pregnancy but TWO viable pregnancies. Yep, twins.
I began crying, shaking, sweating and overall freaking out. They were measuring different sizes by about four days and the sacs looked a little different. She explained this was early and given the devastation we had just went through, to be prepared. We needed to wait and check back on their growth in a few weeks. But, she said excitedly with watery eyes (we've been through a lot together), you are currently pregnant with two babies, in your uterus (I had a previous ectopic), where they should be, which gave me a much needed laugh.
I took the ultrasound picture home and waited for Justin to get home from work. I believe I shoved it in his face and could only utter, "Here! Look!" He immediately saw the two sacs (and guppies as we call them) and uttered all kinds of hilarious things including, "they could all be in college at the same time." Holden ran into the room and said, "do we have a situation here?" with a big smile on his face, which made us all laugh and cry. We were so excited and so terrified.
Unfortunately, somewhere around the 9-10 week mark, one baby "vanished." I was told this is fairly common. I was surprisingly grounded in my reaction. Everyone around me anticipated (rightly so) that I would fall apart. I think I was still pretty numb with grief and shocked that we were pregnant again. I didn't let myself fully believe I was pregnant either so I was somewhat detached. I don't know, I just tried to remain positive and keep putting one foot in front of the other. If it hadn't been for us losing baby Merrick in January, we would've never had such a early ultrasound and learned I was carrying twins. I try and take comfort in that.
It's been an emotional rollercoaster (to put it mildly) with a new level of worry and anxiety but everything is looking great. I am still having a hard time believing I get to take this baby home. I'm sure that will stick with me until I'm holding him/her in my arms and see that s/he is safe and healthy. We've been through a lot in a short amount of time. I'm trying to remain positive but also acknowledge all the feels coming my way.
The "morning" sickness has been "all day, everyday" sickness so I haven't been able to be in the shop much. Big thanks to my mother-in-law, Renee, for managing the day-to-day tasks while I do what I can behind the scenes. I think I'm turning the corner so it won't be long until you see my face again each day, back in the shop.
Thanks and love to our community for the continued support in all things life, love and small business. We are left speechless by the amount of support (in numerous ways) we've received. My hope is to be open about our experiences in the chance it helps someone, in some way. That's the promise I made to myself and baby Merrick and how I am choosing to honor his short, loved, sweet life.
Love and light,